Koppy McFad

March 17 2004

Saucer-eyed aliens have conquered the world. At least that is what it looks like when I open my television to watch cartoons. (This is after the news and public affairs programs, you understand.) Most of the local television stations now feature Japanese cartoons. Cable TV channels have also jumped on the anime bandwagon. Heck, there is already an all-anime channel but that doesn't stop "the action channel" and Cartoon Network from devoting more and more of their schedules to animation from Japan (even if most of the labor is outsourced to Korea and the Philippines.)

Check out Google and you will find more than 42 million results for "anime." In contrast, the word "Disney" gets only about 19 million results-- and at least a third of those are devoted to bashing Michael Eisner. It is actually kind of sad to see so much attention going to one style of animation from one country. No one else gets that kind of treatment. Even the Disney channel shows cartoons of the non-Disney variety. I bet even the French wouldn't support a channel that shows nothing but Francophone cartoons. Realistically, how much "Asterix," "Tintin" and "Fantomette" could a person take?

I've enjoyed anime. I've watched a lot of anime. And I also know that there is only so much anime that a person can take. I was a faithful follower of "Marine Boy" and almost drowned in a wading pool, trying to use Juicy Fruit to breathe. When I was young, Japanese animation, with its fast-moving action and memorable characters (read: violence and scantily-clad girls) just seemed more exciting than other cartoons which were chiefly aimed at trying to make me laugh. I passed through that phase when I watched Disney's Pinocchio and thought "this story would be a lot more exciting if Gepetto put machineguns in Pinocchio's butt."

Well, I may not have grown up in the way I dress and my taste in food and women but I did grow up in my appreciation for animation. I can't really say when it began. Maybe it was when I realized that all the Dragonball epics were basically the same story over and over again and that Goku never seemed to get any smarter. Maybe it was all those characters with tears running down their faces like little rivers. Tears don't run down faces like that. Snot does, but not tears. Maybe it was seeing all these anime characters who were so obsessed with winning some stupid card game or fighting top contest or culinary competition. It seemed damned selfish to me. In contrast, you get guys like Peter Potamus and Scooby and the gang who were actually trying to make the world a better place to live in! Thanks to Fred, Daphne, et al, we never have to worry about embittered middle-aged men donning disguises to terrorize us anymore. Ash and his group fo players however just want to become champions in some narrow area of competition. That's sort of like making a cartoon about professional bowlers, isn't it?

There are just some conventions of anime that bug me personally. And I'm not talking about "sweatdrops" either. I mean like the one where all these gorgeous girls just happen to fall in love with the most unattractive, penniless louts, turning down the handsome, rich guys. Gee, that's almost as realistic as the giant robots. Then, there are all those guys who fall in love with mechanical "Persocoms" and "Marionettes"-- and they're suppose to be the "sensitive" ones. If I fell in love with a synthetic version of Jenna Jameson's private parts, I would not be considered as a "sensitive" guy. I would be universally considered as a "loser" (and not the Gunner and Sarge version either.) That's why I try to keep my personal distance from "Jenna" and just regard her as a friend I can turn to when the pressures of the world start getting to me.

But what really spoils my pudding is when some hyper-fan starts going on and on about how anime is an art, superior to other cartoons and all those philistines who like that "Disney-crap" or "Looney-Toons kidstuff" are just fooling themselves. Yeah, sure the Japanese have produced a wider variety of animation than any other country but that just means they have produced more varieties of junk than everyone else. Like every other medium, there are a few great pieces of anime, some very good works, a lot of adequate material and tons and tons of absolute garbage that make "Captain Pugwash" look like "Fantasia."

Oddly, I came to this realization at an animation conference, where a Japanese animation director, Yasuhiro Imagawa was telling promising cartoonists about the creative process of giant robots. Imagawa, director the G Gundam series, was highly praised by the people attending the conference, but he didn't sound too happy about his work. Maybe it was just the translator but he seemed to have a pretty realistic view of the whole business. He praised Osamu Tezuka, creator of Astroboy as a pioneer in anime but he also recalled that he set the trend for the industry by making Astroboy at the lowest cost possible. "From that time, the cost hasn't changed-- and that's why our salaries haven't changed," he said sarcastically. I don't think that part was from the translator.

"The history of Japanese anime is of fighting the low cost," he remarks. Even some conventions, like the huge eyes, were basically created so anime characters could show their emotions very easily-- to save money on subtleties.

Imagawa pointedly told the crowd: "TV anime is not an art. It is a business." The cartoons were always intended as commercials for products.Cute girl characters were in demand because their images could be used on bags and pencils. Describing the creative process for an original animated show, he says "first, they decide what character is good for sales (of merchandise) and then they make the story." For all those toy-based anime, it is the toy that is designed first, then the show is written around it. "Of course, the company makes a lot of money by selling the toys," he says. "Animation makers have to follow the instructions of companies. We are making a 30-minute commercial," he says with a laugh. If an American animator said that out loud he would be hauled in front of a grand jury.

He cites the whole Gundam series as an example. It was always intended to sell toys. After many years, as the audience aged, it did get all fancy and mature with philosophical undertones so toy sales dropped but Imagawa remedied this by making a Gundam series built around professional wrestling-- except with giant robots-- to appeal to the kids once more. Toy sales recovered. "In the end, we go back to products that children can understand," he said.

Here is one of the dark secrets of animation that was revealed by other people at the conference: part of the reason so many studios want to get into anime is that it's cheap and easy to do. A single second of Disney-class animation needs 12 to 24 frames. In contrast, anime can take as little as six to eight frames. Or count the individual drawings instead for a a half-hour cartoon-- minus the ads and credits, that's 22 minutes. With conventional cartoons, that can mean 20,000 to 31,000 individual drawings. For anime, it can be cut down to just 3,500 drawings, max. Heck, back in the Silver Age, that was probably the monthly output of Jack Kirby alone. And Kirby never had to resort to using "sweatdrops" Ever.

A part of me still likes anime but there is also an internal backlash brewing inside. I go over to the art books section and see dozens of books on how to draw the "manga" or "anime" style. There are magazines exclusively on anime and manga. Meanwhile, if you're lucky, you can dig up a DVD of "Iron Giant" at the bargain bin of your local video store, maybe buried under molding copies of the "Chevy Chase collection." Sorry if I sound a tad bitter. I can understand the need to make cost-effective cartoons that can be merchandised as widely as possible. But Geez... let's not let it drive everything else out of the market. Maybe someday the animaniacs will appreciate other kinds of animation along the Japanese variety. But right now, I'd love to see Bart Simpson show those snotty punks in "Clamp School" what being a kid is all about. Oh, and Wallace and Gromit would kick Goku's ass.

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